Thursday, August 26, 2004
Babies are a Gearhead's Best Friend
Marilyn Monroe made the song, "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend", famous in the motion picture "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes".
After taking one look at our apartment this past Sunday, my friend Dan astutely observed that "Babies are a Gearhead's Best Friend."
It took me about a second of reflection to realize that he was absolutely right. Being a gearhead himself, Dan should know. All the other gearhead fathers-to-be out there will instantly realize that this statement is not only true but that this fact alone can be used to your advantage to, you guessed it, acquire more gear. Only this time, it's not for you but for your new bundle of joy. Tell me this, what gearhead could refuse more gear? I know of two other gearhead fathers-to-be, besides Dan, who should pay particular attention.
I realized that in the excitement surrounding Kayla's birth that everyone around me had become as gear obsessed as I am. It is amazing. It's like there are people out there lining up to give an addict free drugs. Let me tell you something, these babies "require" tons of gear. Not only do they have to look cute when all dressed up, they have to be safe, they have to have accessories to stimulate intellectual development and the parents have to appear cool while dealing with their new bundle of joy and all the requisite gear that needs to accompany them whenever they venture out.
People tend to lose all sense of reason when it comes to babies. Kayla's cuteness affects people much the same way light affects moths, pretty flowers affect bees or boobs affect men. It's an unfair natural advantage. People are just drawn to babies and want to do everything possible to make them happy, keep them safe and foster their intellectual development. This translates into more gear.
For example, no one needs a Bugaboo Frog stroller, except a gearhead and, maybe, the wife of a gearhead. Pushing the Bugaboo is like driving a really fast wagon like an Audi S4 Avant. It handles like a sports car, it can haul all your gear, it's extremely versatile, it's teutonically luxurious, it has all the bells and whistle and, most importantly, it has a certain stealth factor. Meaning, you probably wouldn't realize what you are looking at unless you were looking for it. These facts alone, justify the expense. Who needs the sports car, the sedan and the SUV when you can have it all rolled into one? It's like you are SAVING money. Get my twisted gearhead logic?
BTW, hopefully I'll be driving something that can haul kids and also haul ass in about 2 years when I get a real job.
After taking one look at our apartment this past Sunday, my friend Dan astutely observed that "Babies are a Gearhead's Best Friend."
It took me about a second of reflection to realize that he was absolutely right. Being a gearhead himself, Dan should know. All the other gearhead fathers-to-be out there will instantly realize that this statement is not only true but that this fact alone can be used to your advantage to, you guessed it, acquire more gear. Only this time, it's not for you but for your new bundle of joy. Tell me this, what gearhead could refuse more gear? I know of two other gearhead fathers-to-be, besides Dan, who should pay particular attention.
I realized that in the excitement surrounding Kayla's birth that everyone around me had become as gear obsessed as I am. It is amazing. It's like there are people out there lining up to give an addict free drugs. Let me tell you something, these babies "require" tons of gear. Not only do they have to look cute when all dressed up, they have to be safe, they have to have accessories to stimulate intellectual development and the parents have to appear cool while dealing with their new bundle of joy and all the requisite gear that needs to accompany them whenever they venture out.
People tend to lose all sense of reason when it comes to babies. Kayla's cuteness affects people much the same way light affects moths, pretty flowers affect bees or boobs affect men. It's an unfair natural advantage. People are just drawn to babies and want to do everything possible to make them happy, keep them safe and foster their intellectual development. This translates into more gear.
For example, no one needs a Bugaboo Frog stroller, except a gearhead and, maybe, the wife of a gearhead. Pushing the Bugaboo is like driving a really fast wagon like an Audi S4 Avant. It handles like a sports car, it can haul all your gear, it's extremely versatile, it's teutonically luxurious, it has all the bells and whistle and, most importantly, it has a certain stealth factor. Meaning, you probably wouldn't realize what you are looking at unless you were looking for it. These facts alone, justify the expense. Who needs the sports car, the sedan and the SUV when you can have it all rolled into one? It's like you are SAVING money. Get my twisted gearhead logic?
BTW, hopefully I'll be driving something that can haul kids and also haul ass in about 2 years when I get a real job.
